Need to do newsletter. Rachel BBQ. Make pasta salad. Citibike over. Work on project. Newsletter. BBQ. Project. Pasta salad. Need to make newsletter. Need to make pasta salad. Need to make BBQ. Need to Citibike newsletter. Need to go to BBQ for 4th of July to celebrate BBB (Bob and Betty Beyster) Bill passing. No, bill bad. Bill bad Baggins, of Bag End. Need to do newsletter. Need to make pasta salad. Capers. What should newsletter be about? Tomatoes. Sundried Tomatoes. Alison Roman Secret Ingredient Pasta Salad (secret ingredient is sundried tomatoes). When people ask about recipe (because pasta salad will be banging) I must smirk and say I “started with an Alison Roman recipe and made some adjustments,” even though all I did was add jarred artichokes and Belgioso Mozzarella Pearls. No time go to coop. Normal grocery store time. Why are all the onions trash? Willy Staley ahh onion ahh tweet core. Need to do newsletter. It’s 11 am. BBQ to celebrate BBB. Alicent Roman. Citibike over. It’s noon. I’m jetlagged from the West Coast.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I forgot to do the newsletter. Oh no. Oh fuck. Goddamn. Fuck.
Well, thar she blows. The beginning of the end. My last post slipped a few hours. I can see the trend speeding up. Our quality control (previously incredible) is crumbling into dust. Our infrastructure has been defunded and is deteriorating at rapid speed. I can see the future clearly: lower and lower effort newsletters, popped out increasingly quickly, with the final newsletter simply being one letter: V. Just a single V, sent by Nabeel in 2027 on the way to receive his award for Chillest Muslim Short Story collection. The week after that, I’ll probably be too busy writing a design doc for some project called “Dockerize Referral Document Cacheing Service” at work and will have totally forgotten that I was ever funny or enjoyed doing something like this.
Consider this a warning: if you enjoy Low Lift Ask, get ready for a rapid and sudden deterioration of quality. We have such incredible newsletters here, built with such thought, time, and care. We know you expect more from us. We’re sorry.
Nabeel’s Footnote
Who cares man. Let’s grill some mf dawgs!!!
The specter of Rachel BBQ
i care