Trucker Convoy 2K22
Author’s note: You may have read the groundbreaking works “Cabo 2K20” and “Coup 2K21” and noted the infamous Rachel Butler. You may have even wondered, who is Rachel Butler? What makes her tick? Today, our guest writer pens from the perspective of Rachel Butler. RB’s ghost writer is anonymous, as she is a prominent blogger and doesn’t want to undermine her flourishing career.
Also: eating disorder TW…
January 29, 2022
I finally got a Moncler to wear at school. I have been asking my parents for legit months and they finally got one for me. Not to sound like a brat, but it’s really embarassing that they wouldn’t get me one before. Olivia Westhoff literally suggested I sell my saddle bag on eBay to get one. She’s such a fat bitch. You can totally tell she Photoshops her IGs to get an ab crack. I guess you can always BUY a Moncler coat but you can’t BUY being pretty…. :)
Anyways, we’re going to a DP in Windsor next weekend. I’m 21 so I don’t really need to go to Canada anymore to drink… also isn’t that what guys are for lol? Who buys their own alcohol — maybe ugly b*tches like Olivia do.
January 30, 2022
Okkkk I obviously have my own room at our house but other girls in the house are friends with “O”, so I think I shouldn’t write her full name anymore. Maddy definitely hates Olivia too, and she should because she’s my best friend and should be on my side!!! We missed so much of college b/c of COVID.
People have really changed… some random guy I knew from Cali became Muslim. One of his frat brothers PJ literally DIED during spring break, no one knows how. So much crazy shit. And lest we forget, certain girls like “O” have gotten really fat :) (She’s shaped like her own name lmaoooooo)
The DP is Feb. 11. I ordered a dress from Revolve that’s kind of like a halter dress and is really short. I don’t know whether or not I should bring my new Moncler, probably will just bring my Canada Goose, but my CG is black and my dress is black so it might be too much black? Also my Revolve order is super delayed. Everything has been delayed this year, so fucking annoying! Schmutz, who I’m going to the DP with, said it’s due to the unprecedented volume of imports from Yantian, Shenzhen, Ningo-Zhoushan, among other giant ports, as well as the steamships’ legal cartels that have forced rates to historic highs. It realy sucks…
I’m really sad because Maddy is doing study abroad in Venice this semester and we can’t hang out anymore. I was really hoping that her study abroad would get canceled due to the novel coronavirus that has claimed the lives of more than six million people worldwide, but she went anyways. I can hang out with Amelia and Emily and all them, but it’s not really the same. Like we’re all housemates but we just don’t click like Maddy and I do. Also Maddy literally won’t respond to my texts because she’s like six hours ahead and probably being a huge slut in Italy rn.
Feb. 2, 2022
Lol ok, apparently all these truck drivers are protesting in Canada right now. My comms 402 professor was talking about it so much in class today, saying that it is an “insult to truth” and “a clear rise of white hegemonic fascism.” I kind of agree because like… why don’t they just get the vaccine??? We all had to, you get a polio vaccine, what’s the big deal?
Maddy also even heard about the protest and has been texting me. Shit like, “Should truck drivers stop working in Canada, our closest ally and largest trade partner by land, that entire country could be without fresh water, food, and crucial medical supplies within weeks.” Idk why she cares so much, I thought she’d be busy getting gonerra (SP) from some Italian guy.
I’ve been hanging out with that guy who became Muslim because we both are in the same stats class. It’s kind of embarrassing having to take intro to stats second semester of junior year, but I literally had to drop it last year because I did so bad. I never told my parents and they have no idea I am taking it, lol… I hope my mom doesn’t check my schedule because she totally has my UMich log-in info.
But anyways, everyone in the stats class is a total geed except for the Muslim guy, who is still cute even though he’s kind of weird. He literally got a CHEESE pizza slice from that place next to Ricks the other night because he doesn’t eat pepperoni….sooo crazy!!!!
Anyways, he’s going to the DP in Canada. He doesn’t really know what’s going on with the trucker convoy either, but said he kind of agreed with them. I’m definitely a liberal so that’s kind of weird of him to say. I’m not an anti-vaxxer.
Feb. 4, 2022
My Revolve dress finally came and it looks kind of horrible. I texted a pic to Maddy and she only responded with a bunch of charts:
Like…okkk? But what about my dress???? I went downstairs to see if Amelia, Emily, or Kayleigh were there to tell me what they thought and Kayleigh literally had Olivia Westoff over!!! Olivia didn’t even hug me when I came downstairs, so rude. She is clearly trying to piss me off and make me look like a bitch in front of my OWN HOUSEMATE. I fucking hate her.
Anyways, Olivia and Kayleigh both said the dress was cute but Olivia was obviously lying.
I think I’m just going to wear it because I don’t really care that much about this party, and I don’t really think Schmutz and I are going to hook up. If anyone takes pictures of me in it I will just untag myself.
Anyways, we’re going to Skeeps tonight. I think Olivia lost her fake ID so I don’t have to see her :)
I’m also trying to figure out my summer internship. My fam friend has a small PR shop in Los Angeles but I’d really prefer to be in NYC. I love the NYC instagram/tiktok vibe and I just want to be drinking aperol spritzes on rooftops all summer!!! My older sister lived there before she moved to Austin with her fiancee, and she just partied all the time. Plus I want to live near NYU and eat at Carbone and find a cute finance boy to buy me stuff :)
Feb 7, 2022
I sent my mom a picture of me in the dress and she said I looked fat. Then she sent over a suggested meal plan for the rest of the week until my DP on Friday:
Upon waking: 1 warm glass of water with lemon juice, detox tea
Breakfast: Black coffee
Lunch: One large salad with vinegar (NO OIL) and chicken breast on the side
Snack: Green juice
Dinner: Sauteed greens (use 1 tsp olive oil) and small piece of fish
Dessert: 1 square black chocolate
I texted Schmutz to be like, lol my mom’s so crazy, but he only responded with a series of articles from some website called “Zero Hedge”:
I’ve been reading some of the articles he and Maddy have been sending, and it’s super interesting. Amid deregulation of the motor carrier industry beginning with the 1980 Motor Carrier Act and culminating in the ICC Termination Act of 1995, we have seen a steady degradation of working conditions, unionization, and pay for America’s two million truck drivers — who haul some 71% of the nation’s freight by weight. Truck driver pay has sank by up to 50% from the late 1970s to today, adjusted for inflation. The brutal daily life of a truck driver makes them more vulnerable to myriad health conditions, including diabetes and obesity. Maybe Olivia should become a truck driver :)
Feb. 8, 2022
OMG the truck drivers literally shut down the bridge to go to Canda!!! It’s called the Ambassador Bridge. Idk if we can go to the DP later this week?
Some of them are making points. I love the “don’t tread on me” yellow flag with the cute snake. It’s so true, why is “F-- You Trudeau” so obsessed with making truck drivers get vaccinated??? They rarely leave their cabs or interact with the general public.
The protests are causing delays at key manufacturing plants in the US and Canada. Of course, the elites suddenly care about the economy, but they didn’t really care about the plandemic when it was sparking mass layoffs in 2020.
Feb. 9, 2022
I just donated some money on GoFundMe to the truck driver protest in Canada. I have been talking to this really cool guy who runs the protest. He hauls hydroelectric equipment from upstate New York to northern Quebec. He’s French Canadian… oui oui monsieur lol :)
#FREEDOM4ALL #ALLLIVESMATTER #TRUCKERLIVESMATTER #NOJOBNOJAB #SAVETHECHILDREN
Also my comms 402 professor is such a useful idiot for the Soros-funded propaganda machine. She keeps talking about the leftwing media and it’s like, clearly the leftwing media is biased. They keep publishing all these stories about Jenn Psaki and her daily routine and nothing about Kayleigh MacEnany??? Why would I want to look like Jenn Psaki???????? Drop Kayleigh’s skin routine!!!!
Just got the e-book!!!!!! My mom saw it on my credit card bill and was so confused lolll
Feb. 11, 2022
We are going to the DP tonight. I’ve packed my bags. I’m meeting Jean-Pierre in Windsor and will be joining him on the road. I texted Maddy that I’m moving to Canada to be with him and she literally didn’t respond? I don’t think I’m going to tell anyone else.
That fat bitch Olivia saw my bags downstairs and asked why I was packing up my stuff… she will never understand my fight against the Marxist traitors.
May 6, 2022
I have been on the road with Jean-Pierre for three months now. We are currently near the Hudson Bay in northern Quebec. It’s still snowing. I don’t even have my Moncler anymore, just my Canada Goose, because we had to sell some stuff to pay for the historic uptick in diesel.
I’ve literally gained so much weight on the road because there’s only fucking Subway out here. None of my clothes fit. My parents also cut off my credit card because I dropped out of school… thanks Sleepy Joe, Bill Gate, and soaring energy prices.
Okay sorry for the weird “Sleepy Joe” thing. Jean-Pierre keeps talking about Sleepy Joe and the stolen election and the second amendment and it’s like, you’re literally Canadian???? Why do you care????????
Also… Jean-Pierre literally doesn’t even have a French accent. He keeps saying “aboot” and “pahs-ta.” So annoying
Ritam’s Footnote
Damn, who wrote this? We just let people write shit on here now? Anonymously?
Nabeel’s Footnote
Let’s gooooo