This. Is Not. Bokeh.
Where is the fucking integrity in all these god damn streaming shows…
Look at this:
What the absolute Hell is behind Gumby’s Queembit here… you can’t see shit!! TV is so damn blurry now… In fact I’m decreeing that this show has
And you know what else?
Can’t even see the explosion behind her. Would love to be able to see what’s going on back there!
Are those actors behind him? They could just be dummies… we would never know.
What the f? Can’t see Matt Bomer or whatever his name is at all!!!!
And you know what? This isn’t just these little streaming hit shows… they’re making everything so blurry now…
Look at this screencap from Planet Earth II. Our addiction to HD shallow depth of field knows no fucking bounds… you can’t even see our Komodo Dragon friend’s tongue in focus here, much less the (I assume) beautiful rocky outcropping behind his thick juicy ass…
But you know what? I’ve been negative long enough. I’ve been a hater long enough. Let us come together and celebrate those forgotten old shows that well, you know, had
Yes… the Gilmore Girls… backgrounds beautifully unblurrified, details abounding… the set dressers are probably so happy that their work gets a bit of airtime… why did we ever stray from the light…
Okay, I just want to say, for real, that these old BBC nature documentaries (this is from Life of Mammals 2002) are so superior to the new Planet Earth type things. I guess it’s just like—I don’t really want that much drama or all these chase sequences. I’m not really interested in being like “wow, look how good the footage is!” which seems to the be the raison d’être of modern nature docs on every streaming service.
What we are missing from the modern nature documentary is simply just like true, real footage of animals living their everyday lives, the sense of exploration and wonder, and frankly the sheer #facts, pure unadulterated info, that used to be integral to a documentary. I feel like I used to actually learn so much, and now it’s sort of more about the show itself than the subject matter. I also think that David Attenborough has been weirdly fetishized in America as being a Voice but when you watch his older stuff and see how adventurous and tender he is with animals, you gain a whole new appreciation for him. He really used to be the driving force behind all these docs instead of just being a Documentary Voice For Hire…
Okay, I know what you’re thinking—Ritam, this has shallow depth of field. Your opinion is arbitrary and based in nostalgia. To which I say: No, there’s something different about this and the way it’s used here. Come on!!! It just looks different than all the other weird shit things that come out now that can’t make me feel anything anymore at all :( :(
Nabeel’s Footnote
Hey guys it’s Nabeel!! Um, I just want to say to all my fans… I like watching my White Boy Actors… and I uh live in Syracuse right now… and I think Klay is goated… and Ritam is my best friend and I love him soooo much <3 <3 <3
Hey, there’s a new Substack chat feature. Should we activate the #lowliftask army and #mobilize?