The 187th Post
Well, we’ve done it. It wasn’t easy—that’s for sure. We suffered. We toiled, carried great burdens. We laid it all out on the floor. First one in the gym, last one out. And look where it’s gotten us. To the famous number.
We’ve reached 187 newsletters.
To the haters who doubted us—who casted aspersions on our unpronounceable names: where you at now? When we set out on this journey, 186 posts ago, we told ourselves, “Look. This won’t be a walk in the park. There will be peril at every turn. The world doesn’t want us to do this. But if we get to the famous number 187, the one every Substack writer tries to get to? Welcome to the gates of Valhalla, brother.”
And so, in a cultural moment in which I’m creatively bankrupt, when coming up with dumb shit for this thing feels at best ignorant and, at worst, morally obtuse, I’ve decided we should pat ourselves on the back for reaching this milestone—the milestone we all know and love, 187. Not every podcast reaches 187 episodes; few authors (if any) are able to write 187 books. That’s why you don’t often see people celebrating the notable production milestone of 187—because only fucking grinders get here. Only legends can cement their names by doing so. This shit isn’t for everyone—so stop trying. Stop embarrassing yourself. Don’t get in the ring if you can’t hit 187, the notable watershed moment.
So now that you all know we’ve reached 187 newsletters, the widely celebrated milestone number, let’s take a little trip down memory lane. A highlight reel, if you will, to celebrate our myriad accomplishments:
This newsletter
I liked this one. Pretty funny.
This one
Not to toot my own horn, but I thought this was kind of a good bit.
Producing a podcast
It’s too raw, still, for me to fully grapple with what happened here. But I think if you listen to both episodes (and maybe one day we’ll release the unaired episodes we had banked), you can hear it in my voice: this was one of the most important things I’d ever done in my life, and the utter glee you all took in ruining it hurt more than you’ll ever know. Listen, I guess.
All the ones with the frat kid
Too lazy to collate all of them and put them together here, but I feel that it comprises a somewhat worthy comedic project, on the whole.
Representation of Brown-Skinned Joy
If nothing else, none of you can deny that, across 187 posts (can you believe we’ve written the famous 187 of these?) we’ve carried the torch for Indian guy representation. Before us, there were no examples onscreen of a couple of Indian dudes just having a good time, just fuckin hanging and shit and like riffing. Now that’s commonplace. Now everyone and their damn mother is an Indian guy riffing. It’s fucking annoying.
Unrivaled film criticism
Across years, across 187 perfectly proportioned packages of scholarship, we have blessed the world with views on movies and TV shows that would embarrass Sarris, impale Kael, lap Hamrah (couldn’t think of one for AS Hamrah). Ritam and I have, with a deep and intuitive understanding of semiotics, thoroughly eviscerated the current state of American cinema—and spared no shibboleths in the process. If you search through our archives, you’ll find amazing thoughts like, “I liked Ocean’s Twelve” or “I love Lost” or “What if all movies and characters were connected? Fucking scary…”
The ‘Freedom! ‘90’ Music Video
When Ritam and I took on the herculean task of directing the music video for George Michael’s masterpiece, I’ll admit it: we were terrified. We had no experience, no real knowledge of film production to speak of, but there was no other way but through. We marshaled together a truly awe-inspiring roster of supermodels for this one, and in a subsequent film career, directed the most perverted but exacting psychological thrillers the world has ever seen. So how’s that for 187 (milestone) newsletters?
New Dua Lipa song and video
I won’t take credit for it, but is it a coincidence that she released her new single and music video on the eve of our 187th newsletter? I wouldn’t be so sure… ;)
Inspired a generation of morons
I would be remiss not to remark upon how much of an impact we’ve had on Generations Z and Alpha. Every day, they ambush us on the street and say, “You guys are almost hitting 187 newsletters, the notable number of newsletters to have made. I kneel before you. Teach me how to have fun and create and produce beauty like you.” I have nothing concrete I can offer—to us, it’s all so intangible—but I’ll leave you with this.
What an emotional exercise this was. To look back on this shoddily produced, ultimately mid cultural product in such an onanistic manner—beautiful…And when it’s all said and done, when the story is written in ink, they can’t take it away from us: we hit 187.
Ritam’s Footnote
As a member of gen alpha, I just have to say that this post has W rizz and you didn’t just pull it out of your gyat…