Last week, Ritam decided to confess to being an awful, awful person in every regard. This week, I’m just going to clear the air: I have none of that shit going on. I’ve never done anything wrong or bad re: women and respecting women. I just wanted to clear the air and get out ahead of it; he only gave me a week to respond (typical), but just so everyone knows, I’ve never had a sexist bone in my male bodies, nor my male spaces. “Latent Misogyny?” Yeah……..
I LOVED HER IN GOSSIP GIRL !!!!!!! 😂😂
In fact, here is definitive proof, point by point, that I am good at that kind of stuff with girls etc. and a better person than Ritam overall:
1. I’ll watch whatever movie you want, girl!
Go ahead—scroll through the SmartTV offerings and settle on Amy Poehler’s Moxie (2021)! I definitely won’t hesitate when you hover over it with the cursor and then squirm for a bit and then be on my phone the whole time and then eventually ask if we can watch something else, like Gone Girl which has gender politics that I don’t think are controversial or difficult to parse at all. I won’t do that. Ritam would, though.
2. I actually kind of think 2020s culture is cool as hell??
Phones are dope. I love being able to access all things at any time. I love always being aware that my phone is in my pocket and there might be a text I need to respond to, and that means I am never truly at peace. I love it!!
Seeing my current life and all the attendant social dynamics at play represented on the streaming services I pay for is part of the beauty of this country. I don’t give a shit about what happened before phones. Phones is only important thing to me. Imagine caring about people that couldn’t text or FaceTime or screen-share during the FaceTime to watch IG Reels together…couldn’t be me…
3. Older movie doesn’t have the same vibe as new movie because I can’t relate
Ritam’s got it all wrong. They make new movies now so people will stay glued to the screen at home. Meanwhile, they made old movies back then so inaccessible: you had to legit leave your house and travel by station wagon or some shit to the Nickelodeon Theater and then pay extra money to watch it. They didn’t want people to watch movies back then, is what that means to me. But conversely, new movies are made so we click on them and watch them on our couch.
Just another example of Ritam being dumb as hell.
4. I like all the popular things because other people like them—including you, girl!!
The funniest things in the world are Shen Yun and the Nicole Kidman AMC ad and also imagine getting this yard sign 😂
I’m just laughing thinking about the shared community these jokes and memes—which are quite niche in and of themselves, but slowly making their way to a wider audience!—help engender. Imagine hating that? Hating community?
Ritam’s Footnote
Sorry for the tonal whiplash. I know we be playing here on Low Lift Ask; it’s our personal goofy salve for the hellish times we’re living through. But it’s hard to ignore: the situation on the ground in Gaza has gotten even more dire. If you have some extra cash this month please consider sending some through at this link! And if you do do that, you get permission to comment on this post with a horrible insult about today’s newsletter and the author of it. That’s your reward.
“But conversely, new movies are made so we click on them and watch them on our couch.”
Okkkk but…. Still costs like $2.99 on YouTube to rent 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨