Looking within oneself: a fraught endeavor. If there’s one thing this dumb decade has taught me, it’s that the more I think about myself, the unhappier and stupider I become, and the more I think about things other than myself, the more excited, joyful, intellectually attuned, and present I am. Sometimes, sadly, it’s necessary to do the damn thing and become kind of dumb and unhappy for a while in order to change. And so I’ve trained my sights this week on a particular aspect of my personality that I want to excise: Being a little bitch sometimes.
Last weekend, I found myself in the enviable position of “watching a movie with two close friends on a Saturday night.” I’ve seen countless movies with them before, so we kind of knew each other’s voibes. But every time a movie was suggested, I shot it down. Babygirl 🔫. Opus 🔫. Love Lies Bleeding 🔫. I stated out loud “I don’t want to watch a movie made in the last ten years.” I then started whinging about this preference. “I don’t know why I’m this way. Something’s wrong with me.” This, of course, made my presence even more unbearable. We ended up watching Fight Club.
I’m insanely picky when it comes to selecting a movie. I never, never, never want to watch a movie that’s buzzy, or set in the 2020s, or sexy (in that way), or gets talked about, or stars what I think of as “New Hollywood.” Type of movie that’s like, Las Culturistas adjacent. Whenever I actually do, I enjoy it thoroughly, think about it for days, read lots of articles and opinions about it, and generally feel happy to be part of society. Even still, getting me to actually watch one at home is an exercise in futility.
Good examples of these kinds of movies:
Babygirl
Don’t Worry Darling
SALTBURN. This is like the peak of this to me
Bodies Bodies Bodies
Blink Twice
The Substance
Companion
Sorry, Baby (I will probably go see this in theaters, but if I don’t, it fits neatly into this category)
Challengers would totally be in this category if I hadn’t read Justin Kuritzkes’s incredible book Famous People. But since I had, I was hella excited to see it. I loved that damn movie.
I want to crush this tendency within myself by finding its roots. Imagine this: it’s movie night, you easily yes to the thing your companion wants to watch, and then you’re happy you did. I just wish I let go of my own preferences to say yes more often! So this is kind of a study in pursuit of that goal.
Where does the aversion come from? I have some theories.
1. Latent Misogyny
Hey, look at that list. How could one not think this immediately? While of course, it’s gender essentialist to assume that women prefer certain movies and men others, and it’s important to note how flattening and gender essentialist it is, it’s also clear that these are movies directed by up-and-coming female filmmakers, mostly starring women, and shot from a woman’s perspective, about stuff that women care about, like bodies bodies bodies and baby girls.
My answer to this is: sure, I could totally buy this. There absolutely could be some nasty little gremlins at work down there in my guts. It’s interesting, because it comes out not as a dismissal of all movies about women (my favorite movie I’ve seen this year so far is Hard Truths) but just a dismissal of fun/sexy/young women’s preferences, cementing me as some kind of moralizing crotchety old fuck who wants to ruin everyone’s fun.
I have the same feeling in my guts about Sabrina Carpenter and Addison Rae (but not Lorde or Olivia Rodrigo 🤷🏾), so maybe there’s something to this theory—that I like “serious” stuff about women but hate the fun. But when I actually consume it, I like the fun. I just don’t WANT to like the fun. Maybe something there. Whatever. I have other theories!
2. 2020s culture is kind of busted
Everything so slick. Phones and shit. Everyone miserable at their dumb job in an increasingly expensive city. Corporations jostling for our brain space. Apps and social media and whatnot.
-Guy who watched Fight Club for the first time last weekend
Nah, but fr—seeing movies set in the present day, or more accurately, thinking about seeing movies set in the present day, especially featuring young people living in a city, just reminds me of the actual social dynamics of my real life, which I prefer to think about through more oblique and archaic lenses, like Anna Karenina or Fight Club.
3. Older, even slightly older, movies are Lindy
There’s a reason I know about them. They’ve stood the test of time. They contain wisdom and insight. And more importantly, the longer they’ve lasted, the better the investment feels. This is a core way that I think I’m reacting to movies, and it bums me out that some part of me is thinking this way. But in a world where my free time is limited, I’m looking to watch movies at home that will, in some sense, last in my mind and in the collective conversation.
My overwhelming sense about the list above is that they’re playing the attention game for maximum profit but minimum sticking power. They know how to manipulate the levers of social media and virality to get people to show up and talk about them, they have clips all over TikTok and a million people doing vertical front facing videos pointing to different parts of Wikipedia article screenshots behind themselves to “explain” the movie. The problem with playing the attention game in 2025 is that the fatigue cycle is so ridiculously short that your movie becomes overexposed and discarded within days. This sucks! But if there’s a movie that flames into culture and doesn’t have sticking power, I’m gonna be avoiding that shi at all costs. Just a bad use of time.
Relatedly, I feel like this dumbass mentality (investing in movies) is what led to the advent of The Cinematic Universe as a huge moneymaking form of storytelling. People feel like seeing the movie is a good investment in understanding the next one. Dumb.
4. I am snobbish. I don’t want to like what’s popular around me because it makes me feel superior.
Yes, this could be the case. Y’all can keep your coworker ass culture…
I mean, this is the case, probably, but also my most anticipated movie of this year was a movie where Tom Cruise explained for 3 hours how to put the “Poison Pill” in the (Paul Giamatti in Sideways voice) FUCKING PODKOVA!
😮💨 I need to get back into hiking or something. Thinking about this kind of stuff is so pointless…
My Resolutions
If someone suggests a movie to watch at home, I will immediately say yes over 75% of the time, and not be fussy about it during, and make an honest attempt to be engaged
I will write a better newsletter in two weeks, and it will not be late
Nabeel’s Footnote
The CIA couldn’t torture this shi—
Challengers would totally be in this category if I hadn’t seen Justin Kuritzkes’s incredible short film Potion Seller. But since I had, I was hella excited to see it. I loved that damn movie.
halina reijn did miss twice so..