What Can We Do?
#PayForUs #LowLiftAskingForMoney
Jump scare the other day when I’m doing my 7x-per-day scroll through Substack Notes:
Fake ahh company called Brex that used to give credit cards to 18-year-old “founders” and now makes blog posts that hurt my feelings decided to catalog which newsletters on Substack represented the highest share of #StartupSpend. I’m always thinking about #StartupSpend, from the moment I wake up every other Friday to the instant I start typing at 11:37 a.m. on that same every other Friday—you know what I mean? I’ve literally never not had #StartupSpend in the back of my mind when putting together these complex, sturdy masterpieces.
So imagine my surprise when nary a “Low” or “Lift” or “Ask” is to be found in this sans serif-ass infographic. It’s just kind of funny, honestly, that all these startups decided that 15 other newsletters were more important for their employees to read than ours.
Oh hell nahh… #OhHellNah!
Did something happen? Have we become unc, or even liver—that is to say, #Chopped? Do they even know who our subscribers are? Do they even know we’re two Indian guys without FTE who are just getting a little goofy with it? Does “Brex” (sounds like breast #Chicken #Martin #YourBreastesesIsMyBreakfast) even know that?
We are a robust, thriving publication here. We write newsletters about real, tangible issues
and provide critical information to our readers
at a consistent—and always substantial—clip.
We even have a thriving community; no one utilizes the chat feature quite like us.
What did we do to piss everyone off? If Brex were really about that life, they’d look through every Indian guy’s account on this platform and see that, wait, actually, this guy likes to laugh? He likes to laugh? Because why else would he be subscribed to this thing called Low Lift Ask? And maybe we should juice their numbers a bit and make it seem like hella startups are paying for their shit? Maybe???
Look at these guys. Look at these other guys. I mean,
Lenny’s Newslettter by Lenny Rachitsky
Tf is that?
Stratechery by Ben Thompson
What is this, 2016? Stratechery??? He has no will left to write—Giannis left!!!
The Pragmatic Engineer by Gergely Orosz
With a name like Gergely Orosz, my man should have been part of the cast of Ryan Murphy’s adaptation The (damn) Shards!!!!! Joining the likes of: IGBY RIGNEY, HOMER JIGME GERE, KAIA GERBER, ETC. Cast list drowning in g’s and r’s.
The Free Press by Bari Weiss
OK, actually—this makes sense. I love what they’re doing, I love her whole project, she’s so awesome. I love that startups are paying her money so we can all share her views. Yes!!!!! #TheyGotOneRight!!
Link in Bio by Rachel Karten
I think this one’s mostly about tweets by brands and stuff. Can’t talk too much shit, I guess. That’s basically all we do now.
Feed Me by Emily Sundberg
One time she commented on something of ours and it scared me:
So I’m gonna LTSBAONENAR(Learn To Sit Back And Observe Not Everything Needs A Reaction).
Noahpinion by Noah Smith
Not this guy. India guys at startups are just taking down alternating glugs of this guy and Bari Weiss, huh? Makes sense. Makes a lot of sense.
Cassandra Unchained by Michael Burry
Christian Bale has Substack? Christian Bale writing Substack warning of impending doom using Greek mythology term?
And then there’s an Asian guy at the end: Alex Xu
Tokenism!! Brex—you have been found guilty. Of tokenism. Of including one Asian guy’s newsletter on your infographic.
The only way to square this circle? Slot in two Indian guys’ thing. Fix it. Or I will be very, very angry in two Fridays, when I decide to check in on Substack again. I can promise you that.
Ritam’s Footnote
