No gimmicks here this time, my friends. Today I will be proffering my best-of lists of 2022—for real. I will not be subverting the premise or making a big joke about the whole enterprise. I will not be doing that. So if you’re here for that—our casual flouting of blogpost norms and the irreverent spirit with which we do so, suffused with youthful brio and earned stupidity—just leave while you can. Because I’m not going to ask you twice. I am taking this fucking thing seriously from now on, and if you don’t believe me, then fuck around and find out. I’m done being a clown. I’m done being a joke to everyone on this subscriber list. I refuse to be a pawn in your little games. I’m going to rank shit normally now, and I know that runs counter to your expectations. You opened this email thinking you’d get a little laugh, that maybe I’d come up with some mildly diverting premise that undercut the entire culture of list-making and end-of-year tabulating and trend forecasting. But guess what? I’m not cowing to your whims. I will not be broken. I will rank stuff that I have consumed or experienced, and I will not apologize for it. I will not be getting up to any funny business. You all look down on me so much. Everyone pokes and prods me and subscribes to this Substack, like I’m their personal court jester. I’m not standing for it anymore. This is real stuff you’re about to read. God. So fucking annoying.
The below lists encompass the full totality of my life in 2022, in every capacity, its absolute highs, with nothing missing whatsoever at all. These are the best of 2022:
The Best Movies
Avatar 2: The Way of Water (whenever I see it)
The Banshees of Inisherin
Nope
Top Gun: Maverick
Tár
The Best Shows
Industry S2
Industry S2
Industry S2
Industry S2
Industry S2
Severance
The Righteous Gemstones S2
Slow Horses
The White Lotus S2
Industry S2
The Best Books
Stay True by Hua Hsu
Mouth to Mouth by Antoine Wilson
Show Them A Good Time by Nicole Flattery
Homesickness by Colin Barrett
Another book you could suggest to me that I maybe should have read. Don’t feel obligated, though; it’s not like you have to do this. But if you wanted to, you could. Just make sure you don’t have hideous taste in art before you click send.
The Best Songs
“Un Coco” by Bad Bunny
“Lights Out” by Fred Again..
“Massive” by Drake”
“Industry Season 2: OST” by Nathan Micay (Album)
God, I don’t know. I’m running out of steam here. You guys probably have your own songs that you like to listen to. Go listen to those.
The Best Tweets
The Best Things I Ate
My mom made an insane biryani for Eid this year—goated. Literally!
A few tacos I had in Mexico of various fillings…jealous, much? 😂😂😂
This mango dessert thing I had in Mexico.
Abuqir Seafood…
A burger at Red Hook Tavern/ a burger at Long Island Bar. Both of those stay winning.
Wings at Shifty’s Bar and Grill in Syracuse, NY.
What did you guys eat this year? Anything good? Let me know.
The Best Things I Cooked
Made an insanely good tuna sandwich one day. It had, like, everything you want on a tuna sandwich, and I had the right chips to go with it.
Jeez, I don’t know—I tried making biryani this year that was decent. I did a good prawn roast thing that my mom sent me the recipe for. Whatever. This category sucks anyway.
The Best YouTube Highlights of the Warriors Winning the NBA Finals on ABC
The Best Fake Celebrity Relationships That Are PR Stunts
I mean—there’s just no way you guys believe this, right? You all can’t be that dumb? Stay Woke!
This one was just laughable. They went to Miss Lily’s.
The Best Car Options I Went Through (Before Deciding On A Kia Forte #KiaFam #OneNationUnderKia #DieForMyKia #SeoulfulEngineering)
2023 Hyundai Elantra from Lia Hyundai of Albany
2022 Toyota Corolla from Lia Toyota of Colonie
2011 Subaru Forrester from Facebook Marketplace
The Best Responses I Got From People When I Said I Was Moving To Syracuse
“Oh cool! That’ll be awesome.”
“Oh no way! Upstate life!”
“What’s going on in Syracuse?”
The Best Photos In My Camera Roll
The Best Names I Came Across, In Any Capacity
Mooky Greidinger
Chubba Purdy
Riley Bina
That’s all I can think of, folks. There are definitely other things I consumed or experienced in 2022, now that we’ve come to the end. But I don’t want to include those here. And it’s mostly laziness. I don’t care about this anymore. If you want to ask me, like, “Nabeel. What were your favorite podcast episodes of 2022? Or maybe your favorite longform articles?” You could text me that, and I would answer. But, yeah, I wish I had put all that shit earlier and maybe thought about this a bit more and planned it all out so it would be cool and worth it. But that would betray the spirit of this entire newsletter. So this is what you get. Great stuff, team. We did it.
Ritam’s Footnote
Hey man—I see what you’re up to. I see that you left out the tenth best photo in your camera roll. Maybe it’s this…
