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Tears of the Kingdom OFFICIAL Low Lift Ask Review

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Tears of the Kingdom OFFICIAL Low Lift Ask Review

Gamers unite!!

Ritam Mehta
May 19, 2023
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Tears of the Kingdom OFFICIAL Low Lift Ask Review

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The Legend of Zelda is a video game series that millions around the world enjoy.

Zelda's Aonuma discusses the dangers of games that help too much - Polygon

I have always loved video games, ever since I played Raft Wars on Miniclip.com in 2022.

Raft Wars - Play it Online at Coolmath Games

So when I heard that there was a new game out, I decided I wanted to do an in-depth review for my weekly Substack, where I normally write about politics, race, and the affairs of the day.

1,488 Indian Thumbs Up Man Stock Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos  from Dreamstime

I began my Zelda adventure by picking up the gaming device, a Nintendo Switch.

I was blown away by the fidelity of the graphics. Looking closer, I couldn’t see any pixel-level boundaries. Is this the “brave new world” that the future heralds for gamers and non-gamers alike?

Graphics Rating: 10/10. Three Low Lift Asks Up!

667 Indian Man Thumbs Up Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images
10,589 Indian Man Thumbs Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock
4,000+ Indian Man Thumbs Up Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images -  iStock

When beginning the actual gameplay, I found myself confused. There were no controls as far as I could see, nor were there any menu options.

It was at this point that my landlord knocked on my door.

TIL that the squatting Slav on Adidas tracksuit stereotype is called Gopnik  : r/ANormalDayInRussia

He said he was getting married downstairs and asked if I would officiate. I told him I needed to get ordained online. Did you know you can get ordained online? One of these funny little things about the modern age, I guess.

Positive indian guy using smartphone for online communication, smiling  mixed-race guy browsing, scrolling news feed, messaging in social  media,hindu man holds phone and enjoying new mobile application Stock Photo  - Alamy

I googled “Ordained online how get” and received back pages and pages of SEO-optimized spam articles. I then googled “Ordained online how get Reddit” and it led me to a thoughtfully written post by a white supremacist on how to go about the process. In the end, I chose a little-known online-based ministry called “The Cat-holic Church.” Funny, only in our modern internet age is being a Cat-holic a religion! 😂 😹

ADOM :: Blending East and West

After being ordained as a Catholic priest, I found myself more connected to His Word than ever before. Visions began appearing to me in the night—The Virgin Mother with hands of flame, a waxy, melting Christ effigy with eyes that seemed like pools of onyx, a thundering roar from the heavens to “continue the crusade.” I grew fervent, I cried for salvation. I begged Him each morning to forgive me and liberate me of my tormented flesh. Each night I’d shiver and shake as I slept, haunted by the divine energy coursing through my newly ordained body. I received a missive, an imperative to travel to the Vatican, to meet the Pontifex himself.

Pope Francis, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, caricature face, comic, cartoon,  smiling Stock Photo - Alamy

Upon meeting Pope Francis, I threw myself upon his ring, kissing it with fervor. I kissed it for hours, licking and sucking, tickling and teasing the ring. I nibbled the band and gnawed upon the seal. I fucked the Pope’s ring until morning light, at which point I groggily got up, stretched, smoked a cigarette and had a coffee while walking around the Vatican grounds, and decided that Zelda was a pretty good game. Gameplay review: 3/10. One Low Lift Ask Up!

A 72 Year Old Smiling Asian Indian Man With A Huge Thumbs Up Cell Phone Self

Nabeel’s Footnote

Hello from Thailand! A land of magical sugar and spices, where the elephants gambol and play and the fish sauce runs through the blood of the locals. Yes siree, I am loving my trip here!

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Tears of the Kingdom OFFICIAL Low Lift Ask Review

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