Sporcle Countries of The World Map Quiz Criticism
I think the title was sufficiently verbose... don't need this "sub" shit
Oh hey, we got some new subscribers.
You motherfuckers are so stupid. Enjoy, I guess. For those not in the know, Nabeel and I alternate newsletters—so if you joined because you enjoyed the funny, of-the-moment, well-constructed writing of the last newsletter, you can expect that again next week.
Oh, and if you joined here from “hot singles,” you should know that we know who you are, and that you’re too horny to be left alive.
I love doing the Sporcle Countries of the World Quiz. It’s been my main hobby for ten years. I love to come home from a hard day selling insurance, head down to my hobby room in the basement, fire up the quiz, ignore my beleaguered wife asking me to come up for dinner with the kids, and softly punish her for it later through passive aggressive cues that I subsequently deny, both to her and myself. All of this is to say: it’s a passion! But I’ve noticed some issues with the quiz that are starting to drive me, well, a bit batty. And I thought now would be the appropriate time to express some of these grievances.
Not enough time
The quiz gives you 15 minutes. The only country I’m getting in that time is Timor-Leste.
Some countries start with the same thing as other countries
When I type in “Niger,” it accepts it instantly, often leaving me typing “ia” like a fool into the submission box. It’s a humiliating experience. Same with “Guinea.” I end up with a “-Bissau” dingleberry, every time.
You have to know all the countries to win
This has been the biggest issue for me by far—the fact that I can’t win without knowing all of the countries. Some of them are very hard for me to remember, mostly the ones in Africa. Blergh! Wish I could just type in “Africa!”
They keep changing the countries
South Sudan? Czechia? Eswatini? Never heard of these places.
Here—if you don’t believe me, take a look at the starting map.
The hell are these countries?
Huh. World’s a weird place, I guess. Political boundaries keep shifting and whatnot.