Discover more from Low Lift Ask
It's all about asking the right questions
It’s a shame, really, how many people leave this mortal plane with their big questions unanswered. If you subscribe to one of the Top 10 Religions, maybe a few of these will get covered, but for the average human, this little thing we call life is mostly one big mystery, huh?
That’s why I spend every morning as such: my eyes burst open, I sit up ramrod straight, immediately jump to my desk, flip open my laptop, and peruse my Quora Digest. Quora is where God’s fallen soldiers go to commiserate. Wittgenstein, Bhabha, Haraway—these are the philosophers of yore, those who posed useless questions about inconsequential nonsense that no one cares about in any capacity at all. Today, the world's great thinkers and dreamers and darers can be found in the vital pool of Quora’s user base of curious (horny) young Indian men. There’s a TikTok ad campaign that features the slogan, “It Starts on TikTok,” the “it” presumably being “culture.” Well if culture starts on TikTok, then it is nurtured and enriched on Quora.
Today, I’ll let you into my world. I’ll show you how I usually go about answering people’s questions. The Quora Digest, which arrives in the form of a personal email every morning, rounds up questions that are apparently curated based on the questions you click into; this means I have been lumped into “Indian” in their clustering algorithm, and so I get a lot of Digest emails about Alexandra Daddario or female nudity onscreen. Trust me. That’s why. I promise. I swear to God. And I do this all for no fee; I simply like to provide charity for the poor, huddled yearning masses.
To this guy (we can all reasonably assume this is 100% a guy), I’d say: maybe not, dude. Maybe it’s not normal. But all we can do is go on with our lives, trying to eat, drink, and fuck like the world is ending tomorrow. I suggest you do the same, 17 IQ and all.
Thank you so much for asking, my anonymous friends. I’ll take these one by one. For question one: I don’t know. And for question two: I’m also not sure; that feels oddly specific. What I will say, though, is that both of these questions bring up vital, essential issues about where our culture is headed. Thanks so much for bringing this up.
Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Quora. Mexicans say “jajajaja” because in Spanish, the letter J is pronounced like an English H, and an initial H is silent. Thus the Spanish “jajaja” is the same sound as “hahaha.” Hope that clears things up.
Hm. This one feels like a real You Problem. I don’t know if I can help you here. You might just be resigned to smelling like fucking shit for the rest of your life. Sorry, brother.
So glad you brought this up, king. It’s one of the biggest logical fallacies of the prequel trilogy. Obi-Wan likely changed his fighting style from Form IV (Ataru) to Form III (Soresu) after Qui-Gon was felled by Darth Maul. This could potentially explain his inexperience, as well as his relative inability to counter Count Dooku’s fighting style (Makashi). One would think Obi-Wan could have opted for something like Mace Windu’s Vaapad to truly put up a fight. And in Episode III, Anakin is largely consumed by rage by the point of their battle, leaving him vulnerable and prone to easy mistakes.
Either way, great question.
Not sure. I would try it out though, just to see.
Dude. Get out. Get out, now. You are so fucked. You are so absolutely fucked, just leave now. I have a place you can stay. If you can make it out of Warsaw (Warsaw? I’m assuming? Maybe Krakow), just find an cell provider in the Czech, and call me at the number I’ll send you via Signal. I don’t know why you did this. Jesus.
Live and let live, brother. Live and let live.
I’m not sure who you’re asking this to. If it’s to the average Quora user, then the answers will vary, I’m assuming. But if you just wanted to throw out a flyer, a general, “Y’all smooth down there?” to the masses? I guess I get it. It’s interesting knowledge to have, I can imagine.
For question one, there are probably many answers to this. There are probably a ton of people who destroyed their entire lives by making one simple mistake. It’s tough to narrow it down to just one person, especially with the way you phrased it, so get back to me when you have a smarter question.
For the second question, we should just have a general moratorium on Indian guys having free reign on the internet. There should be some kind of bumper rails on their Chrome browsers. They see a blank search bar and all bets are off.
Interesting. I’m not a massage therapist, so I can’t answer this. Let’s check the comments.
Fascinating. I can’t tell if these questions are related, kind of a dueling POV thing: one guy’s inside the building, one guy’s inside one of the planes. The jokes write themselves.
*stupid guy voice* y’all remember Yahoo Answers?