Low Lift Wrapped

Here we go

I’m trying something new today. Please take it easy on me.

The whole PhotoShop/doctored-text/images thing is kind of Ritam’s bag, not really mine. I gave it a shot, you know? That’s all you can really ask for. Don’t fucking come for me if it looks like ass. We don’t even make you guys pay for this.

Goddamn it. Didn’t fix the text spacing thing. Kind of embarrassing but also charming…in a whimsical way… Cool thing is I used to work at Spotify. Should’ve just asked a former coworker to hook it up graphic design style.

412 minutes is a pure shot in the dark. You all know I’m just joshing 😂😂😂

But seriously though—I think in 2025 we might have to start thinking less about 1) how do we make this Substack the best it can be? and more about 2) how do we make Nabeel some money?

If any of you are trying to get into writing a newsletter, here’s my advice: start getting into Words. Words is some of the most important shit when you’re thinking about writing. Probably top two or five things re: writing is words. I can’t even imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t started thinking about words a few years ago. And I should know (I’m in grad school for it). Lowkey words are what make this thing hum.

Woof. Whiffed on a lot of this stuff this year. My mind wasn’t really a fertile breeding ground for subversive and challenging thought this year—we can chalk that up to general malaise, as well as the ravages of time, and maybe the idea that, actually, not everyone should write, and not everyone should be given platforms that indulge their innate narcissism and in turn produce a culture of American letters that privileges the interior above all else. Just my two cents though….

Whoever you are, however you found us—respect. I hope this public shoutout makes you even more uneasy, and that it’s painful to read.

Kind of over this whole bit. I usually come up with something better for the whole “End-of-Year-Roundup-List-Culture/Rankings-Parody.” I have a cold right now, so that could be the problem.

Actually, I just remembered something I should have included on that one about the best ideas I had. Check this out:

Sound off in the comments: what’s another word for vicariously that we, here, in the Greater Low Lift Ask Community, could come up with? With all the intellectual firepower we’re stockpiling, I just know we could crush this. One last push for the year, team. Let’s do it.

Let’s come up with a new word for ‘vicarious.’

Thank you all! God bless, and have a good night—get home safe!

Ritam’s Footnote

Somehow seems to be some kind of running joke with Nabeel to publicly call me horny—but let me make it clear. I am not, nor have I ever been horny. I don’t even know what it means, and I don’t know what any words mean, nor any letters. I am a puddle of goo on the ground. A puddle of goo waiting for you to step on me 🥵🥵🥵 and wanting to be dragged around on the bottom of your shoe like the pathetic worm I am, assuming you’re dragging worms around in this fashion. Maybe you’re a fishing hook, dragging worms?

By the way, Gauri is also my mom’s name. How would you like it if I called out all followers named Sh*b**n?