“Oh shit, you’re going to Mexico City? I fucking love it there. Yo, I have this Google Doc full of cool shit, let me send it to you.”
The fuckin’—the classic, the tested, the tried and true. Yeah, hell yeah. Never been here myself but hear it’s hella good from my other friend. Not sure if you’ve ever heard of this company called Netflix but they make these docuseries, which are like little tv shows that are true, not fake. And they made one about—um, like guys who make food I guess, they’re called Chefs (like in the movie with Sofia Vergara LOL) and they did one about this restaurant, so I know it’s really good. Something I really like about this place (again, never been) is how you can basically just go and enjoy it if you have enough money, and only if you have enough money, and then act like you have really good taste and stuff.
So something I never knew is that there’s actually this global movement, it’s like an activist thing. It’s called “second wave coffee” and it’s like—more about artisanally sourcing beans and stuff than it is about just treating it like fuel. It’s really awesome, and I guess these guys are sort of really into that? There’s also a concept called “third place” which is sort of supposed to be a communal gathering place for humans outside of work and home. I actually think it’s so beautiful, it’s like this beautiful anti-capitalist thing that builds community, and this place is so good at it. Really good coffee here, they have the signature Mexican drink “cafe Americano” and you can tell it’s really local—the whole menu is in Spanish.
Places To Go
Hospital Nuestra Señora de la Ascensión
Okay so—full disclosure. I tried this local delicacy at Starbucks called a “huevo bite” and I guess they must make it from some weird part of the egg—like the egg offal—that I’m not used to eating (they eat weird shit here LOL) and it landed me in the hospital for a while. But this place is lowkey cool and I totally would have come here even if I didn’t have literal poop coming out of my ass. The doctors here are really sexy and they were totally okay with me hitting on them, I thought they didn’t speak English when I was telling them how beautiful they were but afterwards I guess maybe they did? Not sure… Well, I had a really good time here and got to try some really good food—they have this gelatin dessert in a cup that’s really popular in Mexico, like a red see-through flan, kinda, and they had some really fresh canned fruit too that made me totally believe I was in tropical bliss. I would definitely call this a must-see!
The Mayan Underworld
Okay so basically one day I was in the hospital and then the next day I woke up here LOL, it’s just one of those weird Mexican things I guess, like I guess they travel at night here…? Anyway this place was definitely really unique, and not totally my vibe, but I am reminded of this quote:
The more you practice tolerating discomfort, the more confidence you'll gain in your ability to accept new challenges.
-Amy Morin (whoever tf that is..)
Anyway I met this guy Camazotz:
He was super chill and tbh I told him when we first met that my Spanish wasn’t really good and he said it was cool, that his language is more powerful, more ancient, steeped in magic and unknowable things that humans have since forgotten, he kept talking about the Old Ways… He was sort of like the guy in that movie The Dark Knight (the one with Morgan Freeman) and I thought that was kinda cool. He asked me to be his dark underling and do his bidding and I asked him if he had any Creative Director roles open, I think he did some reshuffling internally and was able to find something for me. We spent about a week negotiating but I think that we had a lot of mutual respect for each other and that let me bargain my way up to a really good salary with a nice equity package. He kept talking about expanding his “necro-territory” and told me to go back to my far-off homeland. So now I’m back in Brooklyn and I’ve been spreading this dark goo that seems to suck up color around the borders of Clinton Hill.
Yo I put together a playlist for you! Here you go. Buen provecho, mon amour.