Joke workshop

Working it out

I had a thought earlier today, as in fifteen minutes ago, that’s based on an old email forward, or joke, or something. You’ve probably heard it: X years ago, we used to have Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now they’re all dead and we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs. It’s kind of a meme language format thing, though a bit passé. Right, so earlier, I had a thought that remained unfinished along these lines:

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw…

Whoa. Mind blowing. A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, a rollicking American ballad to that most wattlèd bird that Ben Franklin did himself decree should be our national one.

If you don’t know the song, I beg of you, listen, and you will see that in fact, you do.

Anyway, so the thought about Turkey in the Straw sprung unbidden to mind. And as with all things that spring unbidden to mind, I did not dismiss it as a mere flight of fancy, I began to work it over like an amazing ball of dough, punching it into various configurations in order to see if it would form long glutinous strands of real humor. Let’s examine a few.

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, Strawberry in the Mouth (Roger Doyle ref???), Mouth something something.

Immediately too long. The connection between Turkey in the Straw and Strawberry in the Mouth is tenuous at best. It’s just a “Straw” / “in the” situation.

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, something, a third thing. Now, we have PAPER STRAWS,,,

No, this isn’t working. Paper straws are not a trenchant avenue for jokes anymore. We all know about paper straws and how much they fall apart when you’re tryna sip your awesome iced hojicha latte, steppin’ your way down Tompkins lookin’ like a fly guy.

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, A Bird in the Hand, and Two in the Bush! Now BUSH is bombing TURKEY with METAL BIRDS (planes)

Hmm, this would work if Bush had bombed Turkey in 2026…

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, Turkish March, and Turk from Scrubs. Now we have Straw (flaxen) hair, March Madness, and Scrubs Reboot.

Hmm, no, I think this one is bad for some reason.

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, Needle in a Haystack, and Christian Bale. Now we Bale on Hinge Dates, “Hey” “Stack” on Tinder (stack of baddies you say “hey” to), and say “this is the last Straw.”

I think I’m getting further from God on this one. It’s time to go back to the basics.

A hundred years ago,,, was 1926… Yeeup. Who still thought it was 1900? (whole class raises hands) yeah no because when I do years math I’m still calculating backwards from 2000 who else? (whole class claps)

Forgot to do the turkey in the straw thing.

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, Smirky On the Draw (when you draw your gun and smirk), and Sticky in the Craw! Now we have Turkiyë, Smirkyë, and Stickyë.

At what point is this actually mental illness?

A hundred years ago, we had Turkey in the Straw, Yakety Sax, and In The Hall of the Mountain King. Now we have an authoritarian Turkey, young people aren’t having sax, and #nokings.

Oh wow, I nailed it! Perfect joke.

Bonus Turkey in the Straw Content

Nabeel’s Footnote

I realized a year or two ago that we “publish” on the same schedule as Grub Street Diet, one of the few media properties I’ll still seek out on a Friday. As in, type in the URL, go to a site, etc. Wonder if people do that with us.