i’m gonna walk into the subway booth

a short story in the style of dr. seuss (guest written by up and coming author alex senti) (pictures to be drawn later)

i’m gonna walk into the subway booth when nobody is looking

i’m gonna walk in all fast like a yam pressure cooking

i’m gonna walk up to the mta man and tap on on his glass

i’m gonna tap, and tap, and tap, and tap

i’m gonna point, i’m gonna scream, i’m gonna freak out and joker laugh

i’m gonna tell him his son just got in a fight at school

he needs to run over there quick and not be a fool

i’m gonna walk into the glass cube and prop up my phone,

kick back, read a book and play joe rogan all alone.

im gonna laugh and laugh and snicker with glee

i’m gonna browse around on apple tv

and when i finish tom hanks’s latest robot flick

i will close up for the day

lock up that booth and get on my way!

and away i will go as i jump on the train

walk through all the cars till i find conductor dane

i will slide a letter right under his door

and tell him his services are required no more

i will shake his hand dressed in my mta attire

and step into his seat so he won’t think i’m a liar

i will conduct i will stop

i will stop again i will conduct

i will blast matisyahu on the speakers because i don’t give a fuct

i’m calling my friends and eating a roll

i tell my boys mike and crayson to give me a toll

i stop the train between 35th street and 36th

i start doing ketamine and toke up a spliff

i get on the intercom and turn off the israeli pop

i make an announcement that will make all 200 passengers jaws drop

“ladies and gentlemen there is uh a train that is stuck up ahead we will uhhhhh be moving shortly in uhhhhh 45 minutes just waiting to hear from the train in front of us thank you for your patience”

then i see mike and crayson and i exit the train

we get onto the tracks and free our brain

mike pulls out a bluetooth speaker as his wife and her friends approach

i throw a football at mikes head and call him a roach

we kickback throw down and let go of all worries

for we are here once and for all surrounded by old cups of mcflurries

we all chill on the tracks and lose track of time

im eating doritos, white castle sliders and drinking bud light lime

then all of a sudden a passenger gets off the train

six foot five, jacked as shit with a snapback that says “pain”

he walks over all slowly and all my friends scatter

i begin to turn away but i freeze and i stagger

he taps me on the shoulder then clocks me in the face

punches my ass so hard i lose track of time and space

then he kicks me

and kicks me

and kicks me

and kicks me

then he punches me

and punches me

and punches me

and punches me

and punches me

and punches me

then he kicks me one last time and gives me a gash

picks me up and tosses me right into a mountain of trash

“another awesome day” i say to myself

“in the greatest city on earth” rhymezone, rhymezone, book shelf

the end.

(up and coming author alex senti can be found around manhattan, brooklyn and queens doing readings of his literature door to door. when he is not writing he is working for his job recruiting people to join the us military)

portrait of the author (right)

Ritam’s Footnote

Dr. Seuss’s real name is Samuel Clemens

Nabeel’s Footnote

Crayson