How Do We Make "India" the Next "Korea"?

Race essentialism

We are in an existential struggle, team. It’s all around us. The cultural world at large is locked in a vise grip, trying to determine which country is the coolest, and the options are limited.

In the past year, everyone you know has visited Japan because “the yen is historically low right now dawg.” Mfs are taking long, colorful trips to Cartagena and claiming they want to get married there. And just yesterday, noted Low Lift Homie / sometimes enemy Jesse Aaronson touched down after a week-long jaunt in Seoul.

It’s not a fresh or exciting insight, but it’s probably true that Korea currently takes the cake in the West. Samsung. Gochujang weeknight sheet-pan chicken thighs. That insane new Korean fried chicken place in Manhattan with awful vibes. More chicken stuff. My mom knowing what kimchi is. All the movies. King Spa in New Jersey. Etc. It’s all converging into a bona fide cultural victory lap. Shogun made a valiant effort this year, as well as Japan artificially lowering the value of the yen so that people could go to Kyoto and buy discounted Issey Miyake pants for their extra suitcase—but let’s face it, my fellow PMC Bubble brethren. The dust is settling, and it’s no longer 1910. It’s only a matter of time before our beefy, well-fed toddlers are scribbling in hangul.

To that end, India has taken a beating, PR-wise. Mid-2000s racism is back—the fellas are considered incurably horny, stuffed to the brim with filthy street food, and “I know it smell crazy in there.” We need to plant the seeds for a full creative refresh, and if that means cutting off internet/WhatsApp access to certain men, then so be it.

Here are some ideas for how we could “match Korea’s freak,” as you might say:

Doing that thing where you act like your culture uses the most garlic

This has been a tried-and-true path to cultural success. Maybe it started with Arabs/Levantine food. Then Italians did it for the longest time. People would be like, “I’m Italian, I am MADE OF GARLIC!!!!” People would be like that, for sure. I’m not just making shit up.

An enduring cultural image

Now I feel like Koreans have a monopoly on garlic. All of this is bullshit I have in my head from watching too many cooking videos. But trust me on this.

Indians should start seeding the whole garlic thing. We need an Indian guy on YouTube who, every once in a while, says shit like, “Oh, and for Indians? We don’t measure garlic—everything’s just a suggestion.” Stuff like that goes a long way. And then once that’s penetrated the culture enough, people will associate Indians with garlic, and then eventually we achieve cultural hegemony.

Developing a life-changing consumer technology

I’ll let the boys at IIT take a crack at this. I’m just giving you the motivation—no other suggestions or ideas from me. Give it your best shot, I’m sure you’ll come up with something smart.

Need to stay from this type of thing though

Talking openly about stuff like Vicks VapoRub, Horlicks/Bournvita, Maggi, etc. more

If we get these things out in the open, start talking about them like they’re cultural products we own, and that they’re essential to the Indian mindset—that’s our first foot in the door. Owning the culture is just about claiming different pieces of it for yourself.

Marketing and mass-producing a fermented product

I kind of stole this idea wholesale from the concept of kimchi. If you haven’t heard, it’s a Korean fermented side dish (banchan) usually made from napa cabbage and served alongside most meals. Just in case you hadn’t heard!

Koreans kind of got in on the whole “gut health” thing right on time. The rebrand was spot-on. Unfortunately, I don’t think most Indian food is considered “healthy” in Western circles. Not much of a salad nation. Dosa batter is fermented, too, but then it’s fried; yogurt is up there, too, in terms of “probiotic vibes,” but the Greeks have won there. And the British kind of stole tea from under our noses—not enough gas in the tank for us to take that one back for ourselves.

What we need to do, then, is start fermenting stuff, putting it in jars, and seeing what sells. Here’s some starter ideas: green chilis; bitter gourd; custard apples; long green beans. Fermented rice:

Not our most visually appealing, nor the best translated (“rice gruel”), but we can hire a solid branding & PR agency.

Doing away with regional divisions

Here’s something potentially interesting (i.e. stupid) I was thinking about: not much discussion of various regional differences when it comes to Korean stuff, right? Like the average American isn’t differentiating between a variation of a stew made in Busan vs. one originating in Gwangju. We’ve done that with Chinese food—Sichuan vs. Hunan vs. Cantonese, etc.—and look where that’s gotten them. They’ve lost major reputational ground to Korea, and I am 100% sure that that is the reason why, and there are no other reasons for this.

I guess I could stand to be less of a South India evangelist, maybe. Tone down the “Kerala First” rhetoric. Perhaps that could help the greater good. But I do want you all to know this: if it does happen, if we ultimately pull off this comeback? Remember where it all started. Remember who put the wheels in motion (the South).

One day, every white person will know who this legend is

Long-ranging interviews with Koreans in my life

Much like unpacking the minds of the great athletes, the Djokovices and the Woodses, the Jordans and the Williamses—we must know how greatness thrives before we can even attempt to harness it ourselves.

I will do this. I will sit down and study every Korean person in my life, their habits and their essential natures, just to learn. To absorb through osmosis. I’m not asking for help; I just want to know what makes them tick. I will send out a Calendly link to every Korean person in my contacts and on my LinkedIn—please just find some time that works for you, and we’ll get the ball rolling. I encourage other Indians to do the same.

Making cool clothes

Is there a starter pack for this somewhere? I think our clothes are cool, but they’re just not exportable to the Western mindset. Why don’t we do a take without all the glittery, jangly stuff? Less noise.

The market’s cornered on big pants. Koreans snatched that one up. Raw denim, too—the Japanese took that to the bank. The next wave, I think, is up for grabs. Socks, jewelry, sandals—anything. We just need to strike while the iron is hot.

That being said—these are still yours to claim if anyone wants to buy them for me

Projecting an air of Ancient Eastern Wisdom…

Don’t know if we have this one locked down yet. I wouldn’t characterize us as serene and calm. We need that stereotype. We need it bad. It’s appealing to the Western mindset, because then they feel they can co-opt those aesthetics for some sort of spiritual betterment. We need some of that juice.

So—we have what we need. These are just general guidelines; I think we can build from here. If every Indian person wants to get on a call and do a deep dive on this soon, I’m down. The game is long, and there’s a lot of time left on the clock. Every comeback starts with defensive stops, and that leads to easy buckets. We just gotta lock in. I believe in us.

Ritam’s Footnote

This shit is ripe for western fetishization. DM me.